


The Exam

by aijouu



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Doctor/Patient, Funny, M/M, eruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:47:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25723078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aijouu/pseuds/aijouu
Summary: Just a funny lil' oneshot; I take request by the way! ♡
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Kudos: 26





	The Exam

Erwin's nostrils were on fire. His lungs inhaling and exhaling the toxic scent of various cleaning agents as the hairs within the caves of his nose burned. Erwin knew that doctor's offices had to be extremely clean and sterile but, he didn't think it was good for him to breathing whatever was in the air. He sat in the waiting area of his doctor's office. He sat there, accompanied by another woman two seats away to his right and a man and a child, on the other side of the room. He had an appointment, today, though it was more of a check-up. He couldn't help but fidget as he checked the time on his watch for just about the tenth time. It was nine in the morning, and he was supposed to be at work fifteen minutes ago and him being here, in this office, was holding him up.

Erwin sighed, sitting back in his chair as his leg bounced and shook anxiously. All he could hear was the sound of the analog clock as it ticked and tocked, mocking him and laughing at him from where it hung on the wall. Erwin had things to do, he had people to see, he'd been held up in this office for half an hour but it felt like ages and Erwin wasn't a very patient man when it came to his tardiness.

"Nervous?" a voice said, ripping Erwin out of his own thoughts as he looked over, and to his right, at the brown-haired woman who smiled at him.

She'd been sitting there for a while, perhaps longer than Erwin considering she was there when Erwin arrived earlier this morning. She'd noticed Erwin's shifting, and fretting, and his shaking leg but Erwin merely smiled, and shook his head.

"No, I uh.." he swallowed. "I'm just late for work," he said, the woman nodding as she gave a gentle hum.

"They'll give you a note." she waved a hand with that same sweet, polite grin, and somehow, that didn't console Erwin.

Erwin simply nodded back in her direction before flitting his eyes elsewhere. He didn't mean to look nervous. He was a grown man in a doctor's office waiting for his check-up and he was more pissed off then nervous but then again, this was no ordinary check-up. Erwin had reached the ripe, old age of forty-two and his body was changing, again. Things had to be checked on to make sure everything was working, and functioning properly, things had to be examined, and analyzed, and looked at, so that there was nothing to be worried about it.

As Erwin sat there, pondering on what exactly he was sitting in the waiting room of his doctor's office for, a wave of sudden nervousness and nausea washed over him, as now, the thought of a late note was comforting.

"Mister Smith?" another voice said, making Erwin lift his head as he blinked, and peered forward at the man who called his name. He was a short man, but he wasn't stout. He was thin, and slender, though Erwin couldn't see much of him behind the long white coat he was wearing, and the salmon-colored scrubs he wore beneath them.

Erwin stood up, nonetheless, the man checking something off of the clipboard he held in his hands before showing Erwin a kind smile.

"Right this way," he said, leading Erwin out of the waiting room as he was guided into the room in which his exam was going to be held.

The man held the door open for him, allowing him to walk in first and as Erwin did so, he shut the door behind him.

"Go ahead and sit up on the table for me please," he instructed Erwin as Erwin eyed his surroundings before doing as he was told.

"Good morning, Mister Smith," he said with another small smile. "May I call you Erwin?"

"Yes, of course," Erwin said, having not seen a problem with it.

"Good, well," the man dragged a chair out from behind a counter and moved it so that he could sit in front of Erwin. "my name is Doctor Ackerman, and I'll be doing your prostate examination today."

Prostate.

Erwin knew what a prostate was and he knew that prostate cancer occurred more in his current age then it did any other but _God_ did that word make Erwin feel filthy. He didn't know what a prostate examination entailed, and he didn't want to necessarily find out but, unfortunately he had no choice. 

"Before we get things started, I'll need to ask you a few questions. Most of them are yes-or-no, all of them have to do with your reproductive, digestive, and urinary system but please be sure to be as specific as you need to be if you ever should need to be. Feel free to let me know if you feel uncomfortable at any point and time, and I'll be sure to remedy that, okay?"

Erwin never said a word. He only nodded, swallowing thickly as Doctor Ackerman reached for his clipboard once more, and clicked his pen. He wrote for a little, seeming to be filling out the date, along with the time, and maybe his and Erwin's name before Levi's hand halted, and his obsidian eyes collided with Erwin's blue ones as he took a deep breath, and cleared his throat.

"Are you sexually active?" the Doctor asked him.

The answer was no. Erwin hadn't laid beside another warm body in decades since he was always so swamped in his own work but, on cold, lonely nights, a bottle of lotion accompanied him just before bed.

"Yes," Erwin said.

"How active, would you say?"

"Three.. times a week?" Erwin guessed, feeling the tips of his ears warm in embarrassment as his jaw grew taut.

"Any performance issues? Non-existent erections, erections that last too long, erections that don't last long enough, painful ejaculation?"

"No." Erwin shook his head.

Levi's hand moved across the paper as he nodded with every question he asked and every answer Erwin gave.

"Any difficultly urinating, passing stool?"

"No."

"Any hereditary diseases that run in the family?"

"My mom had asthma, once."

That seemed to make Doctor Ackerman laugh, and though Erwin didn't get the joke or understand what was funny, he smiled anyway.

"Any sort of swelling, inflammation, itching, burning, or discomfort?"

"I shaved not too long ago and that was a little.. uncomfortable.. " Erwin rubbed his chin in thought.

Doctor Ackerman shrugged, showing Erwin that same, bright smile as he wrote against the paper on his clipboard.

"Don't worry," he waved a hand. "Manscaping is always a little uncomfortable after." he soothed.

Erwin seemed to have forgotten that Doctor Ackerman was also, a man. He had soft, woman-like features. He had a rounded, more oval-shaped face. He had long eyelashes, thin eyebrows, a small nose, tinted lips, narrow shoulders, minuscule hands, and the shiniest pair eyes Erwin had ever seen.

"Okay," Doctor Ackerman rose from his chair with triumph as he clicked his pen, and slid it into one of his chest pockets. "It's time for your examination so, do me a favor and remove all clothing and replace it with a gown. The gowns are folded in that drawer right there," he pointed, as Erwin glanced. "and once it's on, give me shout, okay?"

Erwin nodded again.

He watched Doctor Ackerman leave the room, and shut the door behind him, and as the white noise of the air conditioning and the various fans and that _damned_ clock filled the space between the walls, he started sweating. Any sort of examination that he'd have to strip all the way down for, frightened him.

He had to be bare. He had to be naked.

It wasn't that Erwin was being a wuss, or simply being prudent, nor was he shielding his masculinity in any way but, like any man, there were certain things that made the sphincter tighten. 

* * *

Doctor Ackerman wrestled a glove onto his hand, letting each of his fingers nestle in its rightful place and as he pulled down even further, and released it, it made a sharp snapping noise that made Erwin's body twitch. Doctor Ackerman had Erwin bent over, and leaning over and onto the table, as he was too tall to lay on it sideways without his legs hanging off. He wore nothing but a gown, and he was situated him in the most optimal position for this type of examination and as he stared at him, the Doctor wondered what Erwin was thinking. Examinations like these were pretty cut and dry, and they weren't rare for the Doctor. He'd done this hundreds of times. In fact, he specialized in them, considering his swift, small, and deft fingers.

"While I'm preparing myself, I just want to tell you about the procedure so you know exactly what's going to happen, alright?" the Doctor said, watching Erwin nod as his face was no longer able to be seen now that the Doctor stood behind him.

"Okay, so, all I'm going to do is insert a single finger inside of your rectum," he spoke slowly, and quietly, so that Erwin could let every word marinate. "I'll feel around for a while, as it's part of the examination but again, if there's any sort of pain, let me know. I understand that you may feel uncomfortable now but trust that you will feel even more discomfort later and that's purely natural. Things are supposed to exit from that part of your body and suddenly, somethings entering, and I can assure you that everything you may or may not feel is absolutely fine." he said, having scooped up a very generous dollop of Vaseline, and lathering his index finger with it. 

He was going to stick his finger up his ass.

Doctor Ackerman was going to shove a finger up his ass and quote-on-quote 'feel around', and Erwin wouldn't like it. Erwin didn't know why he had to use so many fancy terms when all it did was make Erwin more squeamish but he nodded anyhow.

"Okay, you're going to feel a little bit of pressure, and then a slight intrusion, okay?" the Doctor warned, laying a hand on the end of Erwin's tailbone as Erwin nodded just the same.

Erwin didn't know why the Doctor warned him. The sudden instinct of bracing and holding onto something and clamping his eyes shut made him more tense than he was before. Erwin didn't know why he was doing this in the first place. He knew that cancer could affect anyone and anytime but how could he have it? He stood away from shellfish, and most forms of radiation but _everything_ , was carcinogenic nowadays. Hell, he carried a piece of radiation in his pocket and made calls on it and he couldn't help it. A part of him just needed the security of knowing that he was okay, and healthy, and that there was nothing wrong with him and that he wasn't dying anytime soon but then, the Doctor spoke.

"Any pain?"

Pain? Why would he feel pain? Nothing happened yet for him to feel any sort of pain—

The Doctor's finger shifted, and Erwin's eyes widened. He hadn't felt when the Doctor entered him but he sure as shit felt it now that he was moving it and pain wasn't a word to describe what he was feeling.

Embarrassment? Yes.

Discomfort? Maybe.

Degrading? Absolutely.

But pain?

"No, no pain." Erwin managed to say as the Doctor nodded.

"Good, good," he said.

Doctor Ackerman did his job; he felt around the surface of the rectum in search of any bumps, lesions, soft or hard spots, or any kind of abnormality while he resisted the urge to make small talk. Doctor Ackerman would normally laugh in a situation like this. A big buff guy, stark naked, suddenly bent over a table with a finger up his ass?

Comedy gold.

This was right up Doctor Ackerman's alley, and frankly, right up Erwin's ass but he held back a chortle as he let his mind wander a bit. Levi did have to give it to him, though. Erwin's backside wasn't as hairy as most men's were, in fact, it looked tamed. Levi could tell without a doubt that Erwin hadn't used this part of his body for anything other than excretion but, out of all the asses Levi had been inside of, Erwin's was top tier, and his favorite by a landslide.

Erwin was a handsome man, and Levi had a knack for tall, blond men that were way too old for him but experienced, to say the least, and as Levi circled his finger around Erwin's prostate, his patient made a noise.

Was that a groan? A hum, even? A moan, perhaps?

Levi didn't have to be looking at his face to see that it was flushed as he could see the back of his neck deepen in color from the sudden arousal. Alas, the majority of heterosexual men were oblivious to the pleasurable capabilities of the prostate. It was a magical gland, and even though Levi wanted to keep him all day, and introduce him to a whole universe of thrills and wonders, Levi had a license, and sexual misconduct by any means wouldn't be tolerated even if it was one of his many fantasies.

After a moment, Levi pulled his finger out of Erwin before giving him a gentle pat on the back.

"All done," he announced, peeling his gloves off and disposing of them in a nearby trash bin as Erwin cleared his throat; standing up, and sitting back down on the table like he had in the beginning.

"So," Levi spoke to him but never looked at him as he lifted his clipboard off of the counter. "I didn't feel or recognize anything that shouldn't already be there. No lumps, bumps, odd ridges of any form," he assured Erwin as he filled out his paperwork. "everything seemed fine, and I'd say you're perfectly healthy. If anything changes, be sure to give this office a call and I already have a note for you printing in my office. If you have any questions or concerns feel free to contact this office any day from Monday to Friday in the times of— "

"How about dinner?"

Levi's pen stopped. He looked up, and over at Erwin, with expanding eyes as he was unsure if he'd heard him correctly.

Did Erwin say what he think he just said? Did he just, ask him out, for dinner? For Christ's sake, Levi had just been knuckle-deep in this guy's ass, and he was asking him out?

"I haven't been on a date in a while, and I figured you know a lot about me and my body then anyone else does, so, I thought I'd take you." he smiled.

A smile.

Erwin's teeth were spotless and glimmering. The lips that surrounded them pink and plump as it seemed that having had the examination, his patient opened up in a way Levi didn't know he would but now, Levi's cheeks were on fire. He didn't expect this, he didn't expect something so sudden and so out there and Levi was a fool to have made an assumption.

Heterosexual? Bi-curious?

No, _bisexual,_ and he should've known from how plucked his ass and eyebrows were.

Bisexual. Blond. Blue eyes. Tall. Muscular. Experienced and he wasn't afraid to try new things and explore and as Levi gulped, he stared at him. Erwin was very much Levi's favorite piece of man-candy, and the longer he stared at him, the more Erwin smiled and soon, Erwin gave a chuckle. A low chuckle, one that resonated deep inside of Levi's thoughts so much Levi froze.

"I didn't mean to put you on the spot, in the workplace and all," Erwin calmed him. "but, I'll let you think about it," he said, making Levi nod and finally inhale as he breathed, and composed himself once more as he brushed a strand of hair behind his ear.

"N-No, " he shook his head." You just.. just caught me off guard is all. I-I'd.. " he looked at Erwin, nodding his head while those turquoise eyes manipulated him beneath some sort of nonverbal incantation. "I'd love to.."

"I'll be sure to call you, then." Erwin smiled, their eyes not having moved from one another's. "I'll be back tomorrow too."

Levi rose a brow, not quite understanding.

"For?"

"For my testicular examination."


End file.
